


Hey Jealousy

by blackfl4g



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Loneliness, M/M, Roommates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-09
Updated: 2017-04-09
Packaged: 2018-08-19 15:19:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,217
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8213938
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blackfl4g/pseuds/blackfl4g
Summary: Frank's kinda lonely.





	

**Author's Note:**

> okay so this is a little rushed (ironic since it took me forever) so sorry if it sucks. but hey i tried! there might be some typos here and there, i'll fix them. xo. (finally got to fixing shit ik ik im late i first posted this in nov im lazy, but also an update still working on some more! ) feedback would be rad thank you!

His alarm goes off with a soft ring, then as he set it to, it gets more fast paced and fucking annoying so he'd get his lazy ass up. After he finally pulls himself together he sees Sweet Pea sitting by his pillows since he had put her on his bed last night. He made sure she knew there was no escaping it after, luckily she didn't have an accident on his bed or anything since she's quite unpredictable.

In his normal routine he eats his cereal and drinks coffee that has too much creamer and sugar, like always. Sometimes has a conversation with himself or Sweet Pea, they have some pretty interesting talks he must say. 

He feels exhausted which he knows he slept a good amount of time and he did have the day before off so he physically _shouldn't be,_ but he knows it's from something else. The ugly ache of not really having anyone to share things with, waking up alone (besides sweet pea), he'd like to wake up and be able to think: _'Someone is here for me and loves and supports me.'_ He rolls his fucking eyes because not only does that sound so cheesy, it's so fucking true. He's so tired of the empty feeling.

On his way to work it isn't really a long walk, he works at this really rad book store he's always been really into. He usually walks because he'd feel like it's a waste to use his car to get somewhere so close anyway. It's kind of a huge place so they were more than happy to hire him and Gerard despite the fact they're friends and everything.

It's pretty nice outside today, it's sunny but not too much. The heat isn't overbearing, it's more like a soft warmth that compliments the slight chilliness, it's been like that lately. Other times lately it's been blazing hot despite the fact the season is changing, which is when he uses his car because he'd prefer to go into work not sweaty or mad so early.

In the back room he's stacking stuff and kind of just trying to organize things. That's just Frank's job- er for right now at least. It's something he's often stuck with doing because everyone sucks and can't take turns.

It's not all that bad though since it's a bunch of books and miscellaneous things but the part that's usually awful is the books because they weigh about a million pounds. Stacking things and putting them on the higher shelves is usually a no-can-do but that's exactly why he gets Gerard to help him.

Sometimes though it's really cool because he always finds new books, it gives him something to get into. Also it gives him dibs on some of the newer stuff.

Gerard agrees most of the time because the main floor on weekdays is dead (except for the nice bored old people and employees doing their usual duties.) Gerard gets bored easily with it so he just decides to give him a hand to lighten the load a bit.

Working at a bookstore they didn't think they'd _actually_ have to do shit. They thought they'd just do little stuff then sit around or hide in little comfy spaces to read. They were obviously wrong.

"Hey Gerard? You think I can reach that?" Frank says seriously, like its actually possible.

"In your dreams maybe," he chuckles while flipping through a book on different types of Japanese art.

They hadn't really done much today considering everyone turns it down. No one sees them for almost the entire day anyway so they do it pretty slowly while sitting around for a bit looking at some of the new books and the overstocked stuff no one's been buying. He thinks about how everyone here pretty much sucks for leaving all of it up to Frank, poor little guy.

But it does get him out of talking and redirecting people places and actually having to intervene. He's more of a behind-the-scenes kinda guy anyway. Frank is pretty good at it though, he's always been quirky and friendly plus he's pretty charming too so he's pretty much the whole package. Which he'd really like to sign for.

The thing about it though is a lot of people hit on him more than anything, it kind of frustrates Gerard in a way because he may or may not have a huge crush on Frank since forever. He watches as Frank tries to reach up and a patch of skin becomes visible as his shirt lifts up, revealing one of the swallows on his hips.

He holds back a groan, he loves them and all the other art Frank has on his body. He remembers when Frank first got them too; not long after his birthday he came by their house basically bouncing out of his skin but at the same time taking it easy because how sore he was. He showed them off to he and Mikey by lifting his shirt up, showing off the slight raised pink lines with the black ink in tact, that night Gerard definitely thought about it while jerking off. Which isn't something he wants to think about now so he mentally kicks himself.

"Yeah.....I can't. C'mere please?" he says it in a defeated tone. Gerard fixes whatever Frank was mad about, he stands next to him yawning while he leans against the taller man with his head down.

He groans, "Just wanna go take a nap."

"We're almost due for lunch," Gerard pats his shoulder and slightly pushes him to stand straight again.

"After that we don't have to do this shit anymore."

Frank sighs in relief and just looks at Gerard. He cracks into a wide smile, "Fuck it, let's just go early! No one's even gonna pay attention."

He can't really disagree or tell him there's a chance they'll get caught because frankly he doesn't give a shit either. They waste the day away doing practically nothing an no one seems to even notice their work so yeah, fuck it.

"What do you want to eat? I'm buyin'," Frank starts walking away and he just follows knowing him he probably already has a place in mind so when he asked it wasn't exactly a real question.

-

Frank stares at the section in front of the registers, little trinkets, journals, useless stuff there just for kicks, he's bored. He looks to to the right and sees magazines at a distance, the big double doors in the middle of both sections.

He wants to leave early again which he knows he can't since he and Gerard did yesterday, no one noticed but he knows he's bound to get caught sometime. He's the only one on registers right now.

He kind of imagines in the backroom or somewhere they're probably having a 'I hate Frank' party. They always make him do the shittiest tasks and on top of that he thinks maybe Gerard is even there with them, that son of a bitch- he shakes his head because this is ridiculous. He's bored and delusional. 

A woman and her young daughter come up and place their things on the counter in front of him. They include a few children's books, glittery stickers, and some boring old people books which he doesn't understand how they sell. He truly loves books himself, he has about a million but there are some that bore the shit out of him and maybe pretty much anyone else.

"Your arms are like a coloring book," the girl peeks over the counter and stares at them. He wants to agree but since he's such a technical person he can't because while if they weren't colored in then, they could be like a coloring book except they are, hence not. _Why the fuck am I overthinking? Shut up dude_ , he scolds himself

"Thank you," he giggles. He watches while the mother just smiles and looks at them as well.

They're not completely revealed since he's wearing a black and grey baseball tee where the sleeves meet at the elbow. Not completely concealing them like one of the main bosses has advised him to. Honestly fuck them what do they even know? Besides that some of the others have them too and no one tells them jack shit.

After that it's completely dead and no one ogles at his tattoos and he doesn't see anyone around who'd care to. He starts thinking about what Sweet Pea is probably doing, she's probably trying to get on the couch or his bed again. She's an old fart but sometimes he comes home to some unexplainable stuff like her food and water bowls spilled everywhere multiple times as if she tried to jump in them.

Other than that she is pretty wise and old, almost like the Dumbledore of dogs. She keeps him the most company and he's pretty sure their conversations are the most intriguing- he's serious, dog are smart and pretty much understand anything and everything. She _gets_ him.

Sometimes though the loneliness peeks its ugly head out, having her is great though. Except for that one time she bit him. He's been really contemplating on adopting another dog soon, maybe the extra room could be their room together. The Sweat Pea and Peppers headquarters.

"That'd be fucking rad," he chuckles to himself and kinda gets lost in thought. Perhaps the whole alone-at-the-register thing is like a total metaphor for his social life.

Thinking about having someone to live with and the possibility of having an actual relationship really aches in a way, it makes his heart swell and hurt because he wants that so bad. He didn't realize he wanted it so bad until now, he deserves it though just like everyone else does, we all deserve to love and be loved. He hasn't really dated a lot, hasn't hooked up a lot either but he'd like to find someone his own way which sounds like being in denial and retreating from any social situation but it's like everyone meets someone on their own time. He can always wish right?

Only little did he know what was about to happen in the break room about 30 minutes later.

Gerard is scribbling on a napkin while he talks about the arrangement of books and how some kid kept picking stuff up only to leave it on the floor. Frank nods and smiles at the other people passing through, they all don't really know each other except him and Gerard. He and Mikey have been best friends since middle school and of course if you get Mikey Way then you get the rest of the Way's.

"Draw me a masterpiece," he yawns and passes him an unmarked napkin. Gerard immediately starts going for little bats and a mini Frank holding a pumpkin trick-or-treat bucket filled with candy. He pays more attention to adding in more bats and candy and the details of Frank's face, it makes him smile and feel kinda bubbly inside. It's cute and being the fucking weirdo he is he's gonna keep it forever.

"Beautiful," he snatches it away quickly to stare at it and tuck it into his pocket safely.

Gerard leans back in his chair while drinking from his water bottle.  _He looks nice today, he always does,_ Frank notes. He's wearing a green, grey, and black button up flannel with dark jeans, his hair is a little more tame today. If he recalls lately in general Gerard's hair has been calmer and actually not so wild. He keeps running his hand through it and switching from staring at Frank to his previous scribbles.

"You wanna go for a smoke?" Gerard quickly nods in agreement and he feels like he could kiss Frank it's the best idea he's heard all day. It feels like he hasn't had a smoke in years but in reality it's only been since this morning.

Outside they stand and bask in the slight warmth the sun is giving off while a slight soft breeze rolls by, dead leaves moving along with just as smoothly. Fall is his favorite seasons because it almost always feels like this outside, chilly but comforting with a hint of the sun giving off a soft warmth.

The colors and flow to everything making him feel at peace almost. It's a time that always makes him feel like his birthday/Halloween is more and more around the corner, which it is. People are sometimes really bitter about their birthdays but since his is on his favorite holiday he really doesn't mind at all, he loves it and is always waiting for it.

"I'm so fucking tired," Gerard leans against the wall while rubbing his eyes with the hand not occupied, he sighs sadly. He does look tired, the bags under his eyes are big and kind of make him look older but still like a total vampire.The light from outside really lest him see something he wasn't able to inside. He slowly blows the smoke out and feels instantly relieved like a weight has been lifted from his chest which felt like it was being crushed.

"More than usual? What's up?" Frank perks up a little because he's still taking a really good look at Gerard's face and sees something different. Exhaustion, sadness possibly? Defeat? He has no idea but it's bothering him on another level and he has no idea why. He wants to make him feel better, he knows Gerard's always tried to with him. He's comforted him and talked through things that trouble Frank, he wants to do that for him now.

"You remember I still live at home right? Anyway mom and dad decided on moving," he waves the free hand around while putting the smoke up to his lips to suck lightly.

"And?"

"Their new house doesn't have a basement or extra rooms," he releases a large cloud of smoke. The way he does it almost hypnotizes him, how he tilts his head back like it's the best feeling. It's really fucking hot. 

He cuts himself off there and Oh _. Oh._ Frank gets it now, see they've been friends for a long time and since the beginning Gerard has always had his basement/cave, that's _his_ thing. Now he sees how that's the problem.

"So I've been looking for places," he shrugs and glances at Frank reluctantly.

"No luck?" Gerard shakes his head and kinda tightens his lips a little bit. This is a really shitty situation to be in and he can't imagine the feeling but maybe this is the push he needs. Since he's always been known as 'Mikey's-Brother-In-The-Basement.'

"Mikey?" He notices how Gerard cringes at him asking.

"He has his fiance-wife or whatever you'd call it. I don't want to live where they're-' he waves one of his hands a little frantically.

Without thinking Frank blurts out of fucking nowhere because his mother taught him better; to always help people in need, "What about me?"

Gerard snorts and shakes his head, "Unless you got an extra room and enough space for all my shit." He smirks at Frank and realizes he's being completely serious, his smirk drops and he starts running a hand through his hair again. He swears if Frank is playing some sick little joke on him he won't hear the last of it.

"Yeah dude I'm serious! I have an extra room, fuck, I have plenty of room," he throws the cigarette butt and steps on it as puts his hand on Gerard's closest arm to lightly shake it.

"Seriously?" he tilts his head like he thinks Frank's a conman or something. Like he's going to lure him in and kill him or some twisted shit. Which! He'd never do, this is one of his best friends ever. Not like he'd do it in general anyway.

'Really."

Gerard smiles and practically picks Frank up hugging him. He wraps his arms around him and he feels really good about this. He feels bubbly inside again like the feeling of making someone else happy really has done a number on his heart.

This should be something new and adventurous in his life. He's tired of the routine.

-

They go pick up boxes multiple times over the next two weeks (they were too lazy to start immediately.) Plus his parents hadn't really officially started moving so it worked out either way. Gerard still has a large amount of stuff even when using both of their cars. But when he starts helping him unpack and arrange it, it doesn't appear as much since. It's because he likes putting some things by themselves in their own boxes so it just seems like a lot. Either way it all fits but they still have a little more stuff to get.

Frank is kinda buzzing with how excited he is because he's never lived with anyone that wasn't his mom or dad so this is totally a whole new experience for him. Living with someone else who has their own habits (good or bad) with their own way of doing things. It kind of makes him nervous because it's like, _What if I do something I think is normal but he thinks is weird?_ He starts kind of freaking out about it but then he realizes...it's Gerard. Why the fuck is he even worrying in the first place?

Mikey helps a few times and of course while they're there. Donna Way is kind of babying them and trying to get them to rest, eat, sit down to talk, yada yada yada... She talks about having them over for dinner and just everything in life ever, there's no stopping her. She talks about everything and anything and that's exactly what Gerard does. He's truly his mother's son, not that Mikey isn't, he holds different aspects of her personality in him.

Moving the boxes into his- _their_ (he needs to get used to saying that) apartment is just fucking exhausting. The stairs certainly don't help since he _almost_ trips and breaks his fucking face more than once. He must really love Gerard a lot to risk his pretty face for him. Mikey though, after a while just kind of sits on the couch and watches reruns of _The Munsters_. He's no help at all.

They're about to pass out just after they set up his bed. They've been at it all day trying to get all the parts and putting things together then "Oh shit I lost a screw!" etc. Gerard's desk wasn't exactly the perfect cherry on top but it was the last thing they had to do and boy was he so fucking happy to finally be done.

Frank's laying on Gerard's bed while he sits across from him, they're both looking through a box of comics and flipping through them when he suddenly asks, "Do you feel weird about this?'

Without looking up from the beat up issue of _X-Men_ Gerard quietly answers, "No not really? I mean I've known you for like, forever y'know? Not like I'm living with some murderer from Craigslist right?" He finally looks up and grins at him as he giggles but in the midst of it something in the corner of his eye catches his attention. At the doorway, he sees Sweet Pea standing there.

Since they started moving stuff in she decided she didn't care or something because she only stayed in his room. Right now she's just standing there, staring, weirdo.

After a while they order pizza and kind of reminisce and talk about everything. How Frank used to sneak into the basement by the orders of Mikey and steal his shit. He remembers seeing an annoyed Gerard stalk around the house trying to find random shit he "lost."

Gerard is saying something but he can't really hear it because he feels like he's slowly drifting off to space with closed eyes and light breathing. For a few minutes it's just them drifting up and away.

They both start slowly drifting off so they declare it a night. Frank lazily makes his way to his room to finally get some well deserved sleep. Except he kind of lays there thinking about how weird this is (in a good way of course.) Since he hasn't had a bad feeling in his gut about it not once. He kind of wants to puke and his heart kind of freaks out but it's okay because this is something new. He needs something new in his life right now.

If it doesn't work out then, hey it happens there's nothing they can really do about it besides accept it. There's another feeling there too like this is a weird bonding experience considering he sees Gerard almost every day except for the days he has off. Even then now he'll still see him. They're roommates now.

Just roommates.

-

A noise wakes him up from the best sleep ever....well not _the best_ but it was good because he was so fucking tired. The noise doesn't stop and it's like a raspy weird whisper, he puts it together and realizes it's Gerard.

"Frank," he whispers and kid of rubs at his shoulder, he groans and rubs his eyes while sitting up. A pang of brightness hits his eyes while he opens them and sees it's his bedside lamp, giving off a soft glow to Gerard's face. He still looks exhausted like he didn't even sleep at all. If it's even been that long, fuck, he doesn't even know what time it is.

"Wha?" he rubs his eyes again and glares at his new roommate but instantly drops it because he's not really mad at him, his presence is actually kind of nice minus the post wakeup crankiness.

"I think your dog hates me," he sits on Frank's bed and kind of touches his arm which- wow feels so nice. Even if it's just his fucking arm, this is weird he needs to stop.

"Why?"

"She keeps standing in my doorway. I left it open because I was getting some boxes out and I saw her little shadow- then she was standing by my bed just staring at me. I tried to pick her up but she _really_ didn't like that."

Frank busts out laughing because really? He's terrified of Sweet Pea? Like she's Jaws or Wolfman or something. He gets up from his bed and goes out into the hallway to see her standing in the doorway of Gerard's room again.

"Pea," he calls her and she turns, looks at them, then trots back to his room.

"She doesn't understand you yet, that's all," he turns and watches as Gerard tries to understand what just happened.

"She bite you?" he highly doubts it but he picks up both of Gerard's hands to see nothing but paint blotches in various blues.

"No, she just made this weird growl and I almost shit my pants."

Frank giggles, "At least you tried, people usually avoid her."

"I like her, she looks like a weird scruffy kinda bat, does she have wings?" He cracks into a giant dorky grin.

"No but oh shit dude! Draw that! That would be so fucking cool!"

"I owe it to you," he winks and Frank really wants to tell him he doesn't but before he can, Gerard is already back in his artist mindset of creating and working on everything.

Back in his room there's Sweet Pea standing by the bed waiting for him to pick her up. When he lays down it's almost like someone knocks him out with a baseball bat; he instantly crashes and falls back into floating up and away into space.

-

Over the next two months they fall into a routine of who pays what, they split rent, spend almost every night watching movies together and talking as if working together wasn't enough. He's actually surprised that Gerard's not sick of him yet, or so he thinks. Hopefully he's not tired of him because that would really fucking hurt, he'd start getting paranoid that he's being clingy and fucking annoying.

They switch off on chores and if they weren't "just roommates" he'd be totally convinced they were some totally cute domestic couple. Which Frank finds himself thinking about more than he should. He brushes it off over and over again like when Gerard gets too close to him and he can feel his warmth along with the slightest touches. He gets this funny feeling in his stomach like giant butterflies swooping around flapping their giant colorful wings. When he fell asleep on Gerard more than once and he just accepted it by putting a blanket over both of them, those butterflies were definitely in there totally fucking him up.

Yeah...he's...confused.

Then to add onto it Gerard actually painted him a fucking amazing Sweet Pea with wings like a bat. He hung that up in the living room because it's his current pride and joy.

Sweet Pea is sitting in Gerard's lap licking his fingers with her weird long tongue that's always sticking out. He's just watching TV like usual.

It's kind of dim since the blinds are open and none of the lights are on. The sky outside is a pretty grey which really shows itself on the inside of their apartment, its kind of dark and cozy. It makes for a good day.

"I want to watch some King but with zombies? Does that make sense?" Gerard just nods and goes for the movie case in which they put their movies together because just like this whole situation, it fits. Gerard ends up putting on _Creepshow_ which even though they've both seen it a trillion times it's still a classic he can't ever get tired of because if you think about it, George A. Romero and Stephen King working together is super mind blowing.

During "Something To Tide You Over," he starts drifting off, they had another super long day of working in the back doing shit over and over. It doesn't help he kinda fucked up his arm a little by overreaching. He leans against Gerard with his head on his shoulder, there's a moment where he feels soft touches to one of his cheeks then his forehead.

It was Gerard placing small kisses there.

Those fucking giant butterflies are back again and he feels more awake than ever. There's no way he can drift off again but he has to pretend to anyway to avoid embarrassing himself. He hears the weird dingy music in the background and decides since he's pretending to be asleep he nuzzles into Gerard's neck. A hitching of breath happens and boom, he feels like he's dying but in a good way. If that's possible. Probably not. Whatever.

"Frankie?" he whispers so lowly it makes him shiver.

He speaks in a fake sleep filled voice, "Hmm? Wanna...sleep."

"Do you want me to take you to your bed? You'll be more comfortable." He pretends to not hear him, he's being lifted up and taken somewhere. He let's out this embarrassing whining sound but hears Gerard lightly laugh at it. Gerard places Frank on the bed near where Sweet Pea's laying in her little purple bed.

"C'mon," he gets Frank under the covers and tucked it. It's kind of awesome how he now just experienced this as if he's been missing out on someone carrying him and tucking him in. Before Frank can try to protest to get Gerard in bed with him he's gone, his warmth now disappearing. He can still feel the soft featherlight touches on his cheek and forehead.

This was different than those other times.

-

Over the next few days Gerard starts acting weird, it stretches out for about a week or so. At work he doesn't really try to talk with him like he used to, if he does he's twitchy and jaded. Like he's forced to interact with Frank, what the fuck y'know? You don't do that to someone you live with. Someone you've known for forever. He even goes as far as turning down backroom duty, now that really stings. He spends it by himself, mumbling bitterly, he's fucking upset.

At their apartment it's not any better, it's like living with a ghost; he hears bumps and footsteps but other than that he hardly ever interacts or sees him anymore. It kind of fucking hurts too because here he is practically in love with him and he's completely ignoring him. How this came about? He has no fucking clue but if it was because of those little kisses then he should feel kinda dumb (not too much though because that would hurt him.) It was an affectionate gesture which he enjoyed.

Sweet pea sort of hangs around him still, sometimes she goes around looking for him then sits around probably thinking ' _What happened to my dad's boyfriend?'_

Boyfriend, he fuckin wishes!

Frank tries avoiding the hurt until he finds out they're hiring at work. Which usually spells trouble and like- actually having to fucking work. It stresses everyone out plus they all almost always hate the new people.

Anyway during the day a few new people start out and he learns Gerard is actually going to have to help one of them which he doesn't think anything of at first. Then they start getting closer and closer until they're flirting. Smiling and laughing, having more social interaction than they've had lately. It fucking hurts, like a kick to the nuts or a punch to the stomach but in his heart.

He plays if off as nothing big until he goes on break (from being left alone to work the backroom again, thanks Gerard.) He sits at the coffee shop portion of the store where he spots them talking and just fucking-whatever. He feels fucking jealous, he's sitting alone drinking some shitty coffee while watching someone he loves and hopes to have something with, have something with someone else.

The person he learns is a girl named- whatever it doesn't matter, who is so pretty he actually wants to cry. From his current eavesdropping session he hears them talk about art and shit he's probably too stupid to know about. Just pretentious stuff he's never admitted to Gerard being because he's really not but..he can be like that sometimes.

He ends up finding them chatting again. Something he catches is, "So there's this art show tomorrow night and I was wondering...if you'd like to go?" He decides to stop playing the role of Sherlock the fucking shitbrained sleuth. Yeah, he had to stop himself from crying a little bit. It's dumb because he can just as easily find someone who's into him who can share common interests and sweet pea. He continues putting deserted items found in aisles and random locations back in their proper place.

-

"Frank? Man I'm leaving okay?-" he stops listening, he's shocked that Gerard's actually announcing his leaving. He's never done that. Whatever he's a grown ass ma. he doesn't fucking care, it doesn't matter (but it does.) He's gonna go hook up with that cute girl and what the hell? Maybe even marry her while he- he stops himself, _shut the fuck up brain._

"Cool," he says appearing nonchalant but inside he's wanting to cry and be liked and loved. Jealousy is such a fucking ugly color on him.

Gerard stands in front of him on the couch where Frank's sitting, blocking his view of _Pet Semetary._ Frank kind of glances at him but notices how good he looks; he's wearing this cute black suit and a black and white stripe tie. Stupid Gerard. Stupid _cute_ Gerard.

"Are you okay?" he frowns and crouches down next to him to be at level with him.

"Peachy, now move I wanna see this," he attempts to crane his head around Gerard blocking his view but he just keeps blocking him out.

"Look, I know we haven't really been talking. I've been really busy and I'm sorry-" He sees the hurt in Frank's eyes becoming more and more apparent as he's cut of by him.

"Yeah sure," he writes Gerard off just as quickly as he realizes he's slowly becoming more and more transparent. It makes him feel exposed and even more like an asshole.

Gerard just frowns at him, "Okay well call me if you need anything, okay Frankie?" He stares at him for a while longer before finally leaving.

Frank sits there staring at sweet pea who's holding a little sock in her mouth while standing on the couch space next to him. He pets her and it makes him feel better for the most part because she's been around in his life just as long as Gerard. She's pretty much eternal. She's always been around and will continue to be around no matter what, like those super old sea sponges that are millions of years old and thriving like there's no tomorrow.

After eating a million bowls of Gerard's cereal (he knows will tick him off) and watching too many movies he checks his phone to see nothing. No one. Stupid. He stops himself from crying to his mom about it because she'll probably says he's being dumb and should tell Gerard how he feels. Which he doesn't, won't, and can't because he's a coward who can't do anything.

He realizes it's still pretty early and he scrunches up his nose as speaks in a mocking nasally voice, "They probably went out to dinner.." he continues, "Before they go see some ugly mold growing on walls and stupid splattered paint and dots. Stupid pretentious art-" He stops when he sees Sweet Pea stop where she's at to stare at him, he takes her doing so as a 'now Frank...you know that's not nice.'

"Yeah yeah I hear you," He rolls his eyes and pretends that's exactly what she said er..or is thinking. Since she's a dog and technically can't talk but she _knows things_. He knows that for sure.

Falling asleep the entire night on the couch doesn't exactly feel too good to wake up to especially when you're looking for your roommate you realize never even came home last night. It's not exactly the greatest way to start the day but he does what he normally would've done on a Saturday when Gerard wasn't living with him.

He takes Sweet Pea to this little dog park for a walk then to this small pet store on a block of little stores by his apartment. He buys her a little sweater, a few new toys she can drag around, and a little collar that has a bell on it. He kind of wants to know where she is and what she's doing at almost all times due to the situations she's gotten herself in many times before.

When he gets back he sees Gerard's car parked where it usually would be. He grunts to himself because he doesn't want to see him or his 'I just got laid' glow. Inside, Gerard of course is making a pot of coffee in the kitchen while a box of doughnuts it sitting on the breakfast bar open. Untouched except for one which leaves a little greasy circle stain in the box. _Blegh, sex doughnuts,_ he thinks bitterly to himself.

Gerard smiles and tries to wave and say something at the same time but his hands are occupied. One with a doughnut and the other with the crushed up coffee bean he's trying to put into the filter without making a total mess. He doesn't understand what he said due to the doughnut he's chewing on but Frank mutters in response. He trudges to his room alone since Sweet Pea is roaming around Gerard and quickly greeting him.

He sits on his bed and messes with the stuff he bought, then his phone, guitar, eventually landing on the TV which he keeps on despite there being nothing interesting on. He has no more excuses to stay in his room any longer except that he wants to stay away from Gerard because he's dumb and in love with him.

There's a soft knock on the door and without thinking he automatically calls for Gerard to come in. He has the tendency to do that when it comes to him being around. When the door opens it reveals Gerard smiling softly and it makes a part of Frank ache to hug him forever.

There's a plate along with a little bowl settled on top and to the side of it in his hands, he's doing his best to not spill or drop any of it.

"You haven't come out and I thought you might be hungry,' he places it on the nightstand next to Frank's bed. Gerard just continues to softly smile at him.

It makes Frank kind of want to cry, he was being such a fuckin asshole just because Gerard may have potentially found someone to be happy with which is something he wishes he could have. He's just.... _jealous._ So fucking jealous that he can have that; meet someone to go out with even if it was for one night, he wants that. He knows there's a reason he hasn't been able to have it. He believes everyone meets someone their own way and he's so much of a hopeless romantic he really believes that. Why has everyone except for him, found someone?

"Thanks," he peers at it to see a grilled cheese sandwich along with tomato soup in the cute little bowl. It really doesn't smell like it since he actually hates tomato soup but it smells better with more ingredients and flavor. His stomach decides it's time to loudly let it's presence be known and growls to where even Gerard hears it. The air is still and awkward until he clears his throat and picks up the dishes to start eating.

Gerard watches him for a bit more, he likes the way the dark colors on his bed look compared to Frank's skin. The contrast really pops in his mind. He wants to remember it well for later when he's drawing, it seems like Frank always helps him in creating something. To Gerard, Frank basically is living art to him.

Frank looks so small too; the bed is way too big for him, but he supposes that's why he picked it in the first place. He sits down next to him on the bed and asks quietly, "Are you okay?"

He peers into his eyes as if he's looking directly into Frank's soul. Yet again without thinking he says, "Just lonely."

Frank turns his head away to gaze at the TV because now he truly feels vulnerable and exposed. The jig is up and he has to confess his sins or he won't get into heaven or some bullshit.

Gerard analyzes the look on his face and it breaks his heart a little to see Frank like this. He does realize he doesn't trust a whole lot of people and everyone the know is busy living life. They're all having kids, getting married, buying houses, doing boring old people shit they're not exactly at the point of their lives to even consider doing right now. He realizes before he moved in with Frank he was in this exact situation, being lonely and really not connecting too well with anyone else. He thinks about how Frank is someone he now has to see everyday, he can always count on him. Before he didn't have that. It always feels like someone is here for him and cares about him, almost like a safety net.

"But I'm here."

Frank turns his head now to show the small sad smile that's playing on his lips, he lets out a small sad laugh. It isn't bitter either, Gerard can tell it's genuinely sad.

"But you're not."

That's when it clicks. Everything kind of comes together suddenly out of nowhere like the gears are now turning and everything is moving a little bit faster. Gerard tries to bury it a little bit more because he realizes since he's shied away from this Frank may have had feelings for him the entire time. What if he's getting mixed signals? Sometimes he's not the brightest of people at coming to huge realizations, oblivious and not way lost but still somewhat.

"You know you can always talk to me no matter what. I'm always here for you, anything you need Frank. I'm serious," he does it again, where it feels like he's peering into Frank's soul just breaking him down more and more. In a way he feels like Gerard understand him and that's a connection they really share together. They can really understand each other even when words can't explain it directly.

They understand each other.

"Ditto."

-

Oddly enough Gerard starts coming back into his little circle of life. He's always with him now and always hanging around no matter what. Showing Frank new things he's working on which he never used to do before. Even as teenagers he was always very secretive over things he worked on, especially his sketchbooks. He wouldn't let them look at his sketchbooks unless he was there to see which pages and which ones he didn't want them to see. Now he's letting Frank in more and more and it kind of really makes him feel wanted.

Not to mention with the girl he was seeing, it was super awkward for a bit until she changed shifts. Yikes. Frank would kind of cringe if Gerard ran into her and he would watch the meltdown ensue. How fucking awkward is that though? You see someones dick and never want to see them again yet you work with them. Which he feels super jealous of, he hasn't seen Gerard's dick yet. But _she_ has? No fair.

Right now Gerard is showing him one of his sketchbooks (this is a big deal for Frank right now) while explaining some of his ideas. In some of the drawings even if there are tiny ones, he has it all figured out.

He stares at the various greys, reds, and blacks that as pages turn, turn into different brighter colors. Then back to darker colors and so forth. In one of the brighter pages there's a brightly colored yellow sunflower which sticks to him more. It's so different compared to some of the other drawings that are usually corpses covered in blood or creatures and bats with darker colors.

He starts thinking about how beautiful Gerard's mind must really be, different sections from dark and gloomy to zombies that fade into bright colors with things/people he loves. He must have a huge gallery of things in there, he would love to see them somehow.

Other than said creatures of the night and random sketches of people he's seen or created he doesn't see much of a difference. Until he flips a page and Gerard instantly covers it up with his hands before snatching it away from Frank. He doesn't even get a small glimpse at what was there. He notices how Gerard is slowly scooting away from him on the couch so he gets even closer to him.

''What's that?" Frank tries to move his hands to the now closed book but only gets them batted away.

"Nothing,' he says quickly. Frank starts getting closer and closer to him while wearing a shit eating grin like he's fucking determined to see what it is and won't give up until he's won.

"C'mon Gee, please? Lemme see?" he makes grabby hands towards him while trying to reach the book. Shit. He's basically all in Gerard's personal space and in his lap right now.

It's wide eyes and hitched breathing until Gerard gazes down at Frank's lips which he's thought about so many times.

 _Fuck it_ , he decides to lean forward to place his lips on Frank's.

At first it feels a little weird but as Frank easily melts into it, it becomes more than familiar. He groans when he dips his tongue in a little only to taste something sweet and candy-like which he's always imagined Frank would taste like. After so many years of yearning for this, all pent up and frustrated, they are now getting to have this.

Frank takes the book and throws it to the side since right now he kind of doesn't give a shit. He won't let it get in his way from something he's wanted forever. He can't even believe this is happening, Gerard is kissing him.

He places himself in Gerard's lap and puts his hands on his shoulders. He eagerly kisses back but is disappointed as they have to break off to breathe. He wishes they could do it forever without having to break off, he wants to kiss him forever. Gerard's lips are so soft and smooth against his and they just feel so perfect, like puzzle pieces. He feels like they should've been doing this the entire time, they've missed out on this for so long.

The soft tender kisses quickly turn harsh as Frank bites on Gerard's bottom lip and receives a groan and a soft growl in response. It makes Frank moan back because _fuck_ he definitely wants to hear more of that.

When Gerard starts going for his neck Frank instantly becomes putty in his hands, he can't handle how sensitive he is there. He's leaving little marks and dark hickies on highly visible places he's going to think about how to cover up later since he can't really show up to work like that because someone is bound to call him trashy etc. The bosses will jump all over that shit.

They're both moving their hips against each others and Frank lets out a soft whine as he feels Gerard's dick, hard in his jeans against his ass. This is just not real to him right now he bets he's having some wet dream and will wake up frustrated and sad.

He feels like he could cum in his jeans at any moment just from this alone and it hasn't even been going on for that long, maybe this is just how sex deprived he is.

Gerard is holding his hips down to rub up against him and it's _so fucking good,_ he never thought he'd be doing this. They stop to break off once again and Frank places a small kiss to the side of Gerard's mouth, "How sweet," Gerard groans softly. It makes something in Frank's gut churn because.. fuck. That's new to him. _How sweet_.

"Fuck, I'm gonna cum before we even do anything else, fuck me please? Fuck I just need..." he groans into his ear and Gerard just nods quickly while pulling him off the couch and down the hallway to Frank's room. 

He instantly gets back on Frank who's now laying down now with his legs spread and his jeans unbuttoned. He takes it in for a moment because fuck if that doesn't look inviting enough, he's thought about this so many times before. Never imagined it would be this perfect.

Frank's playing with the collar on his sweater and slightly pulling it down to slightly reveal his collarbones. He doesn't know if he realizes he's doing it but it's seductive as fuck and it pulls Gerard in even more. He goes back to place a few soft kisses to his lips and it starts heating up once again as Frank starts nibbling at his bottom lip, that's something he's learned Frank likes; biting.

They lick into each others mouths as Gerard's hands start roaming Frank's body to stop at the bottom of his sweater to start pulling it up in hopes of getting it completely off.

Once it's off he stares at the swallows, he puts his hands there, lightly touching and rubbing at his hipbones. Frank groans softly, quietly, it sounds lovely. He wants to touch them forever and maybe even put bruises there if he's lucky enough, just the thought alone makes him shiver. He's always thought about this and how they would do it, would it be soso or the best moment in his life.

"I wanna see you too," Frank mumbles as he tugs at Gerard's shirt with eager hands. It actually should be thrown away since it's covered in endless paint splotches and tiny holes, basically a piece of trash now.

Gerard easily complies and leaves Frank to stare in awe, his skin so clean and not marked with ink like his own. He likes the contrast their bodies make put together, how oddly hot that is. He wants to leave his own personal marks there, he makes a soft sound thinking about it.

"These too, off, off," he says impatiently trying to tug at Gerard's tight jeans.

"So fuckin tight dude how do you even take these off?" He says as he tries to pull at them.

Gerard starts laughing and pushes his hands away, "First I undo them, genius." 

Frank rolls his eyes and flips him the bird before undoing his own to strip them off. He's left in his red briefs which he feels more than exposed in because his dick is more than interested in whats happening and what's _about_ to happen. There's a small wet spot where he's been leaking he can't help but whine, "Gee please? Hurry up and fuck me."

He really can't help that he's a whiner and makes some embarrassing noises, but from what he can tell Gerard likes them.

He stares at Gerard and can't believe how beautiful he is- like he knows Gerard is beautiful but when he imagined it, it had nothing on this. He's like fucking art, a marble statue that everyone should see, beautiful. He's wearing black briefs that are just as tight and _holy shit,_ he's always had the feeling he was well hung but he never fucking imagined it like this.

It instantly makes his mouth water as he observes the outline of his hard cock, he never thought he'd be doing this right now. Before, he actually used to feel guilty for jacking off to Mikey's hot older brother but that was one for a period of time before he decided he can do whatever the fuck he wants and Mikey can just get the fuck over it anyway.

"Fuck, let me suck you off, please?" he gets on his knees in front of Gerard. He's met to him running his hands through Frank's hair, It's not really long nor non existent, it's more like a mini non-cringey devilock he pushes to the side always because otherwise that'd be ...no.

Frank's fingers dip into Gerard's waistband, above he hears his shaky breath, his tattooed fingers lightly pull down his briefs to reveal his leaking cock. He takes in the sight because its big and fucking beautiful which is something he's never thought before. The cocks he's seen are pretty average when Gerard's is a completely different story.

"You're fucking beautiful," he says in a breathy moan.

Gerard puts a hand on Frank's cheek and rubs at his cheekbones, "So are you, so fucking pretty Frank." It leaves Frank blushing and trying not to act like a total schoolgirl. He masks it by smirking up at Gerard who only rolls his eyes at him.

Slowly he takes it in his hand, moving up and down. Gerard moans so loudly it makes him so fucking eager to continue, he brings his lips to the tip and presses a soft kiss there. He can taste him already, not so unpleasant either like any other time but not super bitter.

Gerard watches him like he's going to die, when Frank bats his lashes and then every so slowly starts sucking away at the head. He starts going even deeper, he licks and sucks away as much as he wants, he slowly pulls off with a string of spit connecting to his lips. They're red and slick, he's a natural at this.

"Yeah, come on Frankie," he breaks off into a throaty groan you only really hear in porn. Frank takes him in even deeper but as he relaxes around, in his throat this time. He looks so good on his knees like that, he's palming himself while he's sucking him off, he wants to give him something too.

Frank spends more time like that and he has no idea how, if it were him he'd get a little impatient. But as it turns out Frank fucking loves sucking dick. The feel of it in his mouth and the weight of it on his tongue, the whole sensation.

Watching him he almost feels like it's too much, he could cum from the sight alone. It's dirtier than anything he's seen in his life, unholy almost, and he's ready to keep going down that path.

Frank licks at the underside and takes him again even deeper, his lips stretched wide, his mouth tight and warm Gerard lightly bucks his hips up. He starts slightly pulling at his hair and Frank moans so loudly he feels the vibrations run through his dick.

He starts getting a little tired with his jaw now starting to ache and get sore he lets Gerard pull him up and onto the bed, he takes off his briefs and sees how badly Frank wants this. He's swollen and leaking everywhere he _needs_ to be touched or he will fucking die and it will all be Gerard's fault.

"Touch me please, I need- yeah, oh fuck," he moans loudly as Gerard strokes him roughly. His hands are perfect, he rubs his thumb at the head and then lightly twists his fingers.

The friction starts becoming more than enough as the heat in his stomach starts to build up and he stops Gerard quickly to whimper, "Fuck me now, please?" Gerard is more than willing to agree to that, he parts his legs even more so he's more spread out for him to access him easier.

"Do you have-"

"Very bottom drawer," he cuts in quickly because he wants to waste no time whats so ever. But he does realize he probably doesn't have any condoms due to the fact he doesn't really get much action from anyone besides himself.

Gerard comes back slicking up his fingers and his dick almost at the same and Frank watches weakly, he wants so badly. It's like some fantasy he put together himself, it still doesn't feel real no matter how many times he pinches himself.

"Are you...um..." he drifts off because he feels awkward asking but he has to know. Since with recently and-

"Clean? Yeah of course," Gerard glances at him like he's dumb or something and Frank decides not to touch it right now since that's not what he's focusing on.

"Okay cool sorry I just gotta know y'know that-" he's cut off by Gerard getting in between his legs to slowly insert a finger into him, he moves ever so slowly and then begins moving a little faster before inserting a second.

He moves cautiously at first before deciding quickly Frank could take third, he does but a little roughly, he starts going slowly to let him adjust to it more. He knows Frank hasn't been with someone in a while so he needs to be a little more gentle. Which he thinks Frank would be pissed at him if he knew he was thinking that.

Probably say something like he's 'not some delicate flower' and 'he's not going to break' but he still wants to be careful and make sure he's okay because he's not some asshole who doesn't care.

"Good?" Gerard asks softly and Frank just nods as he starts to slowly fall apart. He's squirming as his hips are bearing down on Gerard's long artist fingers, he moves them swiftly to rub at Frank's prostate which he found very quickly. 

"There?" Gerard says lowly, he smirks and starts slowly rubbing again. Frank nods and weakly, he softly whines and lets out little 'ah ahs' until Gerard removes his fingers. Leaving him feeling empty.

He feels Gerard lay above him and almost completely cover his body, the empty feeling is quickly replaced with Gerard slowly putting himself at his entrance. Gerard is bigger than anyone he's been with so he realizes he's going to have to pace himself a little.

He pushes the head in slowly and he can already feel Frank constricting around him, he tries his hardest not to push in all the way and start thrusting.

"Are you okay Frankie?" he asks sweetly and places soft kisses at his cheeks. Frank looks up at him, eyes full of something else, he feels like it's love, he trusts him and knows this is completely okay, and he gets it.

He moves more and more until he's bottomed out and flushed against him, Frank wraps his legs around him and takes it. It hurts but it mellows out into a good kind of stretch he wants more of. 

He starts moving slowly and dragging out his thrusts painfully slow, until Frank grabs onto him and digs his nails into his back he begs for more.

"Faster please- Gee oh fuck yes," he whines in Gerard's ear and it sounds like a beautiful little symphony only he's meant to hear.

"So tight sugar, so _tight,"_ he groans and it starts building up more and more until Frank feels like he's dying and can't get enough, like this is all that's keeping him alive right now.

"Touch me please? I need- I need to come, please Gee? Can I come?" he fucking begs Gerard to come and it makes his stomach twist of how Frank actually asks and begs for things.

This is better than any wet dream he's ever had in his life. Frank keeps scratching him and biting him he returns them, he starts thinking about his hips and the swallows. How badly he wants to see bruises on them and for Frank to look at them later and think about them, he knows Frank is like that. After knowing someone for so many years you lean things about them, hear things from them.

Without any warning he moves out from between his legs and before he can protest he sits against the headboard and pulls him into his lap, "C'mon Frankie, ride me, I know you can," he fucking coo's and he thought he couldn't fall apart any more than he already has.

He sits back and lines himself up with his cock, slowly he sinks down and he's even deeper than he was before, he feels even _more_ stretched. He starts moving his hips more up and down, he stops for a brief moment to put his hands on Gerard's chest and lean forward to kiss him softly before moving again. He starts lightly scratching down his chest as he moves up and down like there's no tomorrow, he needs this so badly.

Frank starts bouncing in his lap, Gerard is gripping his hips so tightly probably scratching and making bruises. That's what he really wants, he's always been that kind of person who likes to have marks and really remember it. 

"So good, so sweet," Gerard's watching him with low dark eyes, his lips parted as he fucks up into Frank who looks almost the same, his lips parted and letting out sweet whines while his eyes roll then stare at Gerard. He feels like he's about to lose it now, with how hes looking at him and hitting his prostate dead on over and over, he feels the heat start to rise again and this time he doesn't think he can hold onto it.

He starts stroking himself to the pace Gerard is fucking up into him with, he watches and can't take it anymore as he hears Gerard encouraging him, "That's it Frank, cum for me, come on sugar, cum," he grips his hips tighter and even pinches him which leaves Frank shaking even more.

That sends him over the edge, he hears Gerard cooing again and he's done, he's thrusting into his hand and making a mess on both of them. He feels weak and boneless as Gerard starts fucking into him he stares at him and watches as he pants and stares straight into his eyes, his thrusts becoming harder as he feels Frank still clenched around him.

Frank weakly moans as he moves more harshly, he pulls him closer as he releases inside of him, some of it dribbles down into both of them but for now he doesn't even care.

They lay there for what feels like forever until they remember they're both covered in each others cum and that's not exactly the best way to fall asleep. Especially when it comes to waking up that way, gross.

He winces and he pulls out because the sensitivity is too much which Frank feels too because of the emptiness, his head is laying on his chest and he feels like he's going to pass out any second now. 

"Lets clean up yeah? Don't wanna wake up crusty and shit," Gerard watches Frank giggle, he smiles lazily at him with half lidded eyes as he sits up. Out of nowhere (maybe for the better) Frank blurts out, "I love you."

Gerard is taken back for a little bit but he has no idea why since he's waited so fucking long to hear those words from Frank, "I love you too."

Just like that it feels like a weight has been taken off his chest.

Frank's smile gets even wider and he kind of pushes at one of Gerard's arms, "I mean it asshole, I love you. I'm not saying that because we just fucked, I'm serious. I knew ever since we were teenagers that I liked you and wanted something with you."

Gerard snorts and starts cracking up, he knows it won't hurt Frank's feelings.

Frank pushes at him again when he keeps laughing, "Seriously! Are you serious? Because if you're not then-" Gerard kisses him slowly and sweetly, he hopes that answers Frank's stupid questions. He kisses him for a moment more and he feels Frank just nod against him. Now they're a little more than "just roommates."

-

After taking a shower they fell asleep peacefully with Sweet Pea and no care in the world, morning came.

Frank had totally forgotten about the whole sketchbook fiasco until he was making something in the kitchen, he went past the couch to find it still there. He thought Gerard would've been quick to snatch it when he was asleep in the middle of the night or before he even woke up but no, oddly enough it's still where he had tossed it on the couch.

He sneaks over to it (a little slowly though, he's actually very sore and so are his hips, which Gerard got his wish; theyre very bruised.) When he opens it back and and flips through all the pages, what he sees is a little expected but more than he ever thought.

There are various little spots of drawings of him in various colors, there's yellow, red, blue, green, a plethora of shades. Some very angular with his head tilted and his throat more exposed, one as simple as him looking off like he would when they talk, another one is of him smiling softly, there's a more purple shade of him grinning almost evilly. His lips are parted in an almost obscene way in a spot he recognizes and the one Gerard was so quick to cover up, it caused him to not be able to see the rest of them. The entire page is filled with various drawings of him that make up a rainbow almost, it's fucking amazing. 

Past those two pages there's nothing, blank, like that's what he has been working on recently, and he hasn't gotten anywhere else with it. He wishes he could create something this beautiful for him, he can draw but isn't amazing at it. Something he does feel confident in is his ability to write and make songs, he's already written various ones about him before, but now he can share them  _with_ him.

He's never had someone look at him like this, like he was some piece of art. That's something inside it makes him feel warm and inspired, like he's loved and wanted and that's a feeling he's always longed for.

When he stops staring at the drawings he takes the book with him down to his room which Gerard is still lounging around in. He walks in to see him putting on Frank's sweater from yesterday, the red and black striped one.

It's fucking cute, it's not gross either though because hey he's a pretty clean person and never leaves his clothes messy. He's just put it on along with a pair of jeans he assumes are his own, he looks so comfy and happy.

"I thought it was cute so I wanted to wear it," he grins and it makes his heart flutter, It's a little snug on him but he looks just as good in it. He notices how Frank has the book in his hands and how he tilts his head with it, raising one of his eyebrows.

"Aha so I guess you've...seen it already?" He steps closer to him, still wearing the cute little smile he had when Frank walked in.

"Yeah," he grins and starts chuckling, bubbly and happy, "This is fucking beautiful, why did you want to hide it?"

Gerard shakes his head as they step closer and closer to each other, "I thought you'd think I'm weird, or you'd feel weird, that this whole thing is weird and how-"

"We're both fucking weird okay?" he tilts his head up and kisses him softly, passionately, he still tastes like too sweet coffee and cigarettes. The coldness in the air feels more comfortable as he feels the warmth radiating off of Gerard, the book between them as they get closer.

It's a bit chilly because that's how it is outside, they opened a window to smoke, he doesn't mind it though because Gerard is there to keep him warm anyway.

He stares up into Gerard's soft green eyes, little gold flecks giving a touch of brightness to them. Frank realizes just how cheesy this has quickly gotten, he guesses after so many years of suppressing it that it just starts happening like this.

In a way he was kind of planning on showing Frank the drawings in the first place but at last minute a part of him backed out. He was really scared of Frank thinking he's a weirdo and it would make him uncomfortable if he didn't feel the same way. Thankfully that wasn't what happened, it worked out for the better. If it didn't and they didn't end up having amazing sex and end up cuddling, that if it hadn't they'd distance themselves more from each other and maybe eventually would end up kind of moving off and away (the idea alone breaks his heart.)

Sweet Pea (once again) is standing there trying to figure out what to do, she's been watching them and Frank imagines it's either she's silently rooting for them or thinking 'what the fuck is going on here?' Either way he hands Gerard his book and picks her up, they feel like a cute little family right now. Right now this is all he needs to feel okay, like the small missing piece has been found.

-

"I told you I didn't want anything!" Frank whines when Gerard gives him something covered in wrapping paper. He throws a little bit of a fit and spreads himself out on the couch a little bit.

"Just take it, c'mon I made it for you, I knew you'd only take a gift if _I_ made it," he pushes it into the younger man's hands despite his protests of batting it away. It's true though, he clearly stated he didn't want anything but if Gerard were to go down that path, he'd only take a gift if it was made with love and care by Gerard himself.

"This better be it okay? I swear if you have anything else-" Gerard kind of bites his lip because yeah, he has a little more to give.

Frank loves his birthday but it's usually on pure ambiance and the feeling, the chill in the air and everyone wearing costumes and eating candy to rot their teeth straight to the core.

They were just watching _Frankenstein_ and then Gerard had to pull this on him out of nowhere even though he told him he wanted nothing but candy and a good time. Now he's holding this neatly wrapped gift he has no idea what it is besides the fact Gerard _made_ whatever's underneath the wrapping paper, which is cute little cartoon jack-o-lanterns.

He starts peeling away the paper hesitantly to reveal a completely black canvas, the black paint looking velvety and smooth. There's a huge white spiral in the middle that gets smaller and smaller at it reaches the middle, followed by bats sprinkled pretty much everywhere, some of the black disguising them. In the very bottom right corner, Frank's eyes move to the almost completely white area. It's not painted over but drawn in pencil and completely untouched by paint, painted around. He recognizes it as himself, it feels a little weird getting _himself_ as a gift but Gerard means well.

There's always a deeper meaning to Gerard anyway, he feels like he's sharing it with him. It looks like the drawings he had seen in his sketchbook for the first time last month, they stuck well in his mind.

In the drawing it's almost like a side view of him, sharp jawline and scorpion tattoo, his cheekbones showing out, his eyes closed like when he's listening to music or trying to take something in, lips curled into a smile.

In the painted spaces there are other little specks of colors, they're so very small like stars; there's orange and some lighter tones.

It feels weird receiving something like this, because it's of himself, so calling it beautiful he'd feel super full of himself. But it is, it's amazing, it's kind of abstract and if he were to try to depict a meaning it'd be something like 'Frank in the _Twilight Zone'_ or 'Frank in Space.' It makes absolutely no sense but that's what makes it even more special to him, Gerard did it.

"This is, so fucking cool?" he says it like a question because he really has no idea what to say.

"Yeah?" Gerard laughs at his reaction, he knows Frank likes it even if he can't word it right. He's picked up on Frank's "thing" for Gerard watching and drawing him, he has something for it so he decided why not right? He's only ever sketched him, he's thought about making something big but it never really hit him until he started thinking about his birthday. Not some random sketches of him after they've fucked, which he personally consideres romantic but Frank may or may not think differently so he saves those for later.

"Oh and this one," he turns the canvas over in Frank's hands and of course taped to the back is a super detailed picture of Sweet Pea. He pulls it off and grins at it, "She looks like she belongs in a Tim Burton movie."

"I knew you'd like that." 

"Seriously this is..amazing and beautiful. I'm not just saying that because it's _me,_ " he shakes his head and is quick to kiss him.

"One more thing and then I'm done okay? I promise!" Gerard holds his index finger up and gets up quickly. Frank groans because he really doesn't want anything else, he already has everything he wants. Sweet pea is standing by staring at the wrapping paper that fell to the floor, sniffing it and moving it with her nose.

When he gets back he has a trick-or-treat bucket filled with candy, see he'd much rather have that than some cake. It reminds him of the drawing Gerard first made for him in the break room right before things changed forever.

"You steal this from some little kid?" he smirks as he unwraps a lollipop and sucks on it.

"Maybe...." he smirks back and then quickly adds, "No I'd never do that, shut up."

Frank giggles and scoots closer to him, their hands intertwining. He rests his head on his shoulder, _Frankenstein_ still playing in front of them on the screen, feeling content and happy. This is all he wanted for his birthday.

"Thank you so much, I seriously can't think of a better way to spend my birthday," he stares into his eyes and wears a big smiley face.

Gerard kisses his cheek softly, "I love you."

"I love you too."

This is all he's _ever_ wanted.


End file.
